Practicing the Perfect Handshake

The Power of a Strong Handshake

by John Gates

A Handshake Lesson from Goldilocks...

When Goldilocks entered the home of the three bears, she found three chairs, three bowls of porridge, and three beds. In all cases these items were too this, too that, or just right. In an interview, your handshake is a physical and emotional connection with your interviewer that must be just right to present the most favorable impression.

Think about your own experience for a moment. Have you ever shaken hands with someone who had a clammy, wet hand? How about the limp shaker, or the guy who pumps you twenty times and won’t let go, or the person who crushes your hand or just grabs your fingers? Now imagine a firm, warm, inviting handshake. What images of ability or personality come to your mind?

When done correctly, your handshake can communicate confidence, professional fitness, and personal effectiveness before you ever say a word in your interview. Indeed, the images that come to mind during a handshake are powerful and can subconsciously flavor the entire interview.

Here are a few tips to help you get your handshake up to the Goldilocks Standard.

Rule #1: Use Your Right Hand

The correct handshake is always, ALWAYS done with the right hand. The only good reason to use your left is if you have no right hand (or it’s in a cast or sling). In that case, it’s acceptable and understood. Just last week, I had a promising Admin Assistant candidate interview for an important role. Her interview performance was flawless except for the left-handshake. Instead of shifting her portfolio to her left and shaking with her right, she allowed her right hand to be occupied and reached out with her left. Shaking hands like that with your left will leave the impression that you are socially awkward or possibly lazy, and these are not qualities most employers are seeking.

Rule #2: Square Your Body

As you approach your interviewer, make sure you meet me head-on, facing me directly. This body carriage communicates confidence, openness, and trustworthiness. The left-handed shaker above turned her body sideways to me, though her face was turned toward me. Facing your interviewer directly lets me know you have nothing to hide and are inviting a relationship.

Rule #3: Target Your Grip

There are several components in a correct grip. First, make sure you connect with the proper part of the hand. The fleshy part of your hand between your thumb and forefinger should interlock with the same part of the interviewer’s hand. Your thumb and fingers should grip naturally around the hand of your interviewer (not my fingers).

Secondly, firmness of grip must be just right. Crushing grips are overbearing and obnoxious, while limp fish grips are not impressive and rather disappointing. Your grip should be just firm enough to apply comfortable pressure, communicating confidence and ability. Practice this with several people to dial in correct pressure.

If your hand is unusually small, you may have to apply more pressure or choose your grip more carefully. If large, take care not to accidentally hurt your interviewer.

Rule #4: Mind Your Pumps

Some candidates get so excited they get carried away during the handshake, pumping 5 or more times. Some are so distracted they forget to let go of the interviewers hand, forcing the interviewer to disengage uncomfortably. Others grab the hand and let go so quickly there is no time for gut-to-gut communication. Ideally, you want to grip and pump one to three times and then tactfully release. Tune into your interviewer and release as I release. An impression of good communication between us begins at this point.

The exception to the above is if your interviewer doesn’t release and continues to pump. Hang in there with your interviewer until you sense it’s time to let go. The bottom line here is to be sensitive to the desires of your interviewer.

Other Important Handshake Tips

Many people suffer from nervousness and sweaty palms when faced with an important interview. If you’re one of these folks, discretely dry your hand on your pants or skirt just prior to shaking hands. It would honestly be better to dry your hands on a bath towel before shaking than to force your interviewer to embrace your soggy mop.

I can’t emphasize this enough: Practice these techniques with several willing partners who can give you objective feedback on your handshake. A perfect handshake will serve you well throughout your career, whether you are a man or woman, no matter what your line of work. It is worth working for. Practice these tips until your perfect handshake is natural and automatic.

My first job after college was working as a bilingual recruiter for a temporary agency in Oregon. I’ll always remember meeting Miss Cruz, a young well put-together sales rep for the company. The most amazing thing about her was her handshake, and years later I remember being surprised and impressed by it. Just right. Perfectly formed, firm, and confident. Her handshake formed the bulk of my impression of her: Assertive, trustworthy, and highly capable. Practice your handshake, and you’ll be on your way to a very positive first impression, just like Miss Cruz.

DISCLAIMER

The suggestions here are intended for the US population and represent cultural norms of the United States. In Sri Lanka (and, I'm pretty sure, other places), this advice is going to be next-to-useless.

Cheers,

John